Outrunning Negativity

Motivation has not come easily for the past couple of days. Today is Monday, and I just got back from a 16 mile run. Sunday mornings are usually reserved for long runs, but on Sunday I was still sore from Friday’s workout at the gym. That, plus it was overcast and rainy yesterday and I just didn’t feel like getting outside to log the miles. I told myself I would go later in the day, and when it was later in the day I told myself I would do one hour of yoga/Pilates instead, and after doing a bunch of stuff that wasn’t yoga or Pilates (talk about avoidance—I even cleaned out the refrigerator!), I finally just told myself I would go to bed.

So this morning’s run was laced with the guilt associated with procrastination. The negative voices in my head were quick to remind me that starting today doing something that should have been done yesterday throws everything off balance. Now I will not be able to have that recovery day between runs to cross train and rest. The race is now less than five weeks away, the voices continued, as they questioned my ability to complete 26.2, if today I am struggling to finish 16.

Thankfully, as I finish my miles, the more positive voices in my head get louder, drowning out the others. I have completed 26.2 — three times over. And I did finish 16 today, even if technically speaking this run belonged to yesterday. I am not a quitter. I am not a failure. I had an off day. Now I’m getting back on track. I can’t really ask for more.

The whole thing reminds me of one of my favorite Van Gogh quotes, which says: “If you hear a voice within you saying, ‘You are not a painter,’ then by all means paint, boy, and that voice will be silenced!” Ah, these negative voices… If I cannot always shut them up, let me at least call them out for being liars.