Outrunning Negativity

Motivation has not come easily for the past couple of days. Today is Monday, and I just got back from a 16 mile run. Sunday mornings are usually reserved for long runs, but on Sunday I was still sore from Friday’s workout at the gym. That, plus it was overcast and rainy yesterday and I just didn’t feel like getting outside to log the miles. I told myself I would go later in the day, and when it was later in the day I told myself I would do one hour of yoga/Pilates instead, and after doing a bunch of stuff that wasn’t yoga or Pilates (talk about avoidance—I even cleaned out the refrigerator!), I finally just told myself I would go to bed.

So this morning’s run was laced with the guilt associated with procrastination. The negative voices in my head were quick to remind me that starting today doing something that should have been done yesterday throws everything off balance. Now I will not be able to have that recovery day between runs to cross train and rest. The race is now less than five weeks away, the voices continued, as they questioned my ability to complete 26.2, if today I am struggling to finish 16.

Thankfully, as I finish my miles, the more positive voices in my head get louder, drowning out the others. I have completed 26.2 — three times over. And I did finish 16 today, even if technically speaking this run belonged to yesterday. I am not a quitter. I am not a failure. I had an off day. Now I’m getting back on track. I can’t really ask for more.

The whole thing reminds me of one of my favorite Van Gogh quotes, which says: “If you hear a voice within you saying, ‘You are not a painter,’ then by all means paint, boy, and that voice will be silenced!” Ah, these negative voices… If I cannot always shut them up, let me at least call them out for being liars.

How Do I Love Thee, My Darling, My Deer? (Part I)

This Sunday morning's run will definitely go down as one of my strangest and most magical runs ever.  I had just finished mile 15, and my cell phone was about to die. Having a phone means running with extra weight, but it also means Pandora and RunKeeper, not to mention quick access to help if something goes wrong. But if the phone is dead, what's the point? I was thinking these thoughts when I heard some rustling in the bushes to my left and then something was running behind me. I turned, expecting to confront a loose neighborhood dog or something, but instead I saw an adorable fawn, trotting along behind me!! Something must have happened to its mother because it was all alone and seemed anxious for company. 

I whipped out my phone to snap a picture before it ran off, but as it turns out, there was no hurry, because the fawn had apparently decided that I was its new mother. I whistled and it came close, letting me stroke its head, pat its back, and snap as many pictures as I wanted. And all the while I was thinking: This is unreal! How many times in my life will I get to pet a wild fawn? I hung out with it for a few minutes, then said my goodbyes, and tried to point it towards the woods. But when I started running again, the fawn was right there behind me, running too! It would have been hilarious if I hadn't been so worried that it might get hit by one of the oncoming cars on the narrow strip of road we occupied. We trotted along for a bit together until we passed a man standing in front of his garage. He took one incredulous look at us and said, "You have a pet DEER?" I assured him that I didn't, explained the situation, and roped him into helping me get Bambi back into the wild.

"The little guy might be hungry," I suggested. "I don't know what these things drink, but do you think you could give it a little milk or water before you set it loose in the woods behind your house?" The man said that he would, and I went back to the business of running my miles. Last I saw of my four-legged little friend, it was trotting through the man's open garage door and heading into the kitchen to get that drink (I swear, I'm not making this up!).

By this time my phone was dead, but those few minutes with the friendly fawn had provided more than enough entertainment to get me through the last five miles. As soon as I got home, I logged onto Facebook and posted a shorter version of this wild encounter, but I really should have showered first—gross! ;). 

The Man in the Wheelchair: Thoughts from Tuesday's Run

I was running my fifth mile when I passed him—the elderly man in the wheelchair. He was sitting at the top of the hill in front of the Lorien Health Center, watching streams of cars and people hurrying north and south. Our eyes met for a second, so I raised my hand and waved hello. He didn’t wave back or smile. I kept on running, but I felt almost guilty about the fact that I could.

What was he thinking as he watched me run by? I will never know. But if our hearts had been bare in that brief second when our eyes met, here’s what I would have said:

As you sit there in that chair, I believe you understand things about life that I often take for granted. I believe you understand how time flies and how much things can change—and how quickly. I believe you understand what a gift and a privilege it is to simply move.

Running can be an exhilarating, freeing, and empowering sport. It can also be a grueling, painful, and sweaty challenge. But whichever form it takes, it is a gift. The man in the wheelchair reminds me.

Running for L.A.C.E.S.

Well, the Running for a Reason Campaign officially kicked off on August 1 so for the next eight weeks I'm trying my hand at fundraising. Honestly, it's a little nerve-racking for this chic who still considers herself an introvert at the core. But I'm doing it anyway and it'll be an adventure to see what happens next... L.A.C.E.S. is the first of many organizations I hope to support through my running (don't worry, they won't all be fundraisers!). Below is the letter that I sent out to some of my friends and family.

 ..................................................................

I can never guess, when I first meet someone, how that person will change my life. It was summer 2009, and I remember seeing Kevin Fryatt walk up the sidewalk and to the path that leads to my door. It was his first time attending the weekly small group that meets at my house. From the beginning, he fit in as if he’d been with us for years. It was Kevin who brought the DVD that first introduced us to L.A.C.E.S., the organization founded and operated by his then-fiancée-now-wife Seren. My heart was on fire as I watched the DVD—the kind of fire that warns me change is coming.

L.A.C.E.S. stands for Life And Change Experienced thru Sports; it’s a soccer league that uses biblical values to provide mentorship for Liberian children and strives to combat the various effects of the unsupportive upbringings and environments many of those children have endured. The organization is Seren’s heartfelt response to the needs she witnessed while living in Liberia for six months in 2006. The country was then just three years into the process of picking up the pieces after a long and bloody civil war that left more than 200,000 people dead, and a generation of children with no fathers to raise them. Since its beginnings in 2007, L.A.C.E.S. has impacted more than 700 people in Liberia, and its influence continues to spread.

A lot has changed since my first introduction to L.A.C.E.S. in 2009. For one thing, Seren and I have become friends. We’ve shared road trips, bonded over the ups and downs of self-employment, and enjoyed several outdoor adventures together. I’ve also had the chance to participate in a couple of her fundraising events, to learn more about Liberia, and recently, to met James, the L.A.C.E.S. Liberia director who was visiting the U.S. for the first time in April 2012. At every turn, I’ve been impressed with L.A.C.E.S. and the people who support it, and I’ve witnessed firsthand the difference just one person can make in the lives of so many.

So I am excited to make L.A.C.E.S. the first organization that I’ll be supporting through my running. My next marathon takes place on September 30, 2012 in Corning, New York. My goal is to raise $2,620.00 by race day—get it? 26.2 miles = $2,620.00! :), and I’d be thrilled if you are able to help me reach that goal. You can sponsor me for a full mile by donating $100.00 or you can just give what you feel impressed to give. 100 percent of the proceeds will go directly to L.A.C.E.S., as I am covering the entry fee and travel expenses of the race out-of-pocket.

Donate online at http://www.lacesport.org/gracebrown or write a check payable to L.A.C.E.S., with “Running for a Reason” in the memo and mail it to L.A.C.E.S., 4319 West Clara Lane # 193, Muncie, IN  47304. You can also find out more about L.A.C.E.S. by checking out their website at www.lacesport.org.

Stay in the race,
Grace