Love, awakened and aroused

I had a little revelation the other day as I was journaling. For the last couple weeks I've been thinking about Song of Solomon. Specifically the verse that says: "Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and and by the does of the field. Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." I'm not sure I've ever really understood that, but I think now after some of my experiences in various relationships, I understand it more clearly.

I think that text is an invitation to just wait for love to bloom on its own—don't force yourself to feel something when your heart isn't fully onboard, and don't try to convince others that you are right for them if their hearts are not willing to accept you either. I see Song of Solomon describing the beauty of a flower that opens at the proper time. It's not forced open and therefore destroyed.

I still believe I'll get married one day, though I don't yet know who I'll end up with. But whoever he is, I believe that our love will not be forced or strained because its time will have come. Sometimes it is okay to just follow your heart.

Tiny Moments

"You need to be more open. You've been guarding your heart for so long you don't know how to receive. Relax... Enjoy..." I was talking with a friend the other day and these were the words that were coming at me from her end. If only I could say it's the first time I've heard them. It's not. If only I could say that she's way off base and out of line for even making that kind of comment. She's not. And if only I could flip a switch and simply change. I can't. At least not overnight.

There are a million ways to say it—"A journey of a thousand miles begins with just one step"; "Rome wasn't built in a day"; "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it"; "Every mighty oak was once a nut that stood its ground"— But all the cliche's dissolve into tiny moments. Tiny moments. It's always the tiny moments; tiny moments that are heaved upon other tiny moments that finally solidify into a massive realization of change.

This is a tiny moment. This is a tiny post. And this tiny post provides a tiny glimpse of my not-so-tiny heart.

But in this tiny moment, I celebrate Rome!